A dimly lit room in the centre of London's old financial centre seems an odd place to relaunch a mountainous sportive. The Wiggle Etape Cymru is back for 2015, and I was intrigued by the prospect of riding sections of the new course just 200 metres from Monument tube station - but then, I'd never heard of CycleBeat, a dedicated spin gym in the heart of the city.
We are cajoled into a darkened room, handed shoes and towels, and left to nervously await a maniac called Gareth. Over the next 45 minutes Gareth will guide us, in high octane style, through a simulation of sections of the sportive route on static bikes.
Before turning a pedal we are introduced to Luke Rowe of Team Sky. Fresh back from a successful Tour de Romandie, Luke helped the team to a stage win in the team time trial. As ambassador for the Etape Cymru and a proud Welshman, he has a few thoughts to share on the route - but first, Gareth and the spin bike await.
One of the things I like about cycling outdoors is the evaporation of your "effort" thanks to wicking fabrics and a cooling breeze. Stationary exercise means the by-products of your body's cooling system remain with you, or more accurately, in your clothes, on your skin and in pools on the floor. We were advised to bring cycle-suitable clothing, but a sponge and bucket would have been more apt as for the next 45 minutes we are coached by a very Welsh man, accompanied by a very Welsh soundtrack, through an approximation of the Queen climb of this most Welsh of sportives.
So what's new with the Wiggle Etape Cymru?
Previously a closed road event, organisers Human Race have revamped the Etape Cymru course for 2015 with three routes to test the mettle of any hardened sportiviste. The longest route (the Grand Fondo) is a stonking 221km roller-coaster around much of Snowdonia. There are also shorter routes for those not addicted to the hard stuff, a kind of gateway sportive if you will. The Corto (110km) and the Medio (170km) are nothing to be scoffed at though, as all three take on the bucket list favourite, Horseshoe Pass, as the first real climb of the day.
The Etape promises breathtaking scenery to compensate for the ache in your legs, but here in Gareth's dungeon there's no such diversion. It's a bit odd 'climbing' on a static bike, having to rely on moderating your cadence with sadistic resistance settings rather than gravity. There is no broom wagon, and the press pack all make it up the climb. On the big screen in front of us, a league table briefly flashes up to shame us into more effort next time. I found it quite tough, and puddles of sweat notwithstanding, would heartily recommend spinning as an alternative to turbo training. In your garage. On your own. Wearing your iPod.
Afterwards, I catch up with Luke (showered and changed, you'll be relieved to hear) and ask him about his commitment to the Etape Cymru. Luke will be lining up in Wrexham for the Etape in September, work permitting, and speaks with quiet passion about the scenery of his homeland.
"Everyone knows I'm a proud Welshman, and this ride showcases some of the best riding that Wales has to offer," he opens.
Wales has the infrastructure to discover and nurture some fine cyclists. Luke's mother, father and brother Matthew are also racing cyclists, so it was inevitable that one of the family would make the grade.
"Sadly, Matt wasn't quite good enough to turn pro, like me," says Luke - but his brother will always be famous for the Tour of Britain stage in Caerphilly, where he welcomed riders up the climb in full boxer's gear.
Luke has enjoyed a strong start to the year with Team Sky, the highlight so far an impressive showing in Paris-Roubaix where he finished 8th in Sir Bradley's last outing for the team. His next target is the Criterium du Dauphine in June, an 8-day stage race in the southeast of France.
That's almost a home race for Luke these days. He has recently moved to Monaco, where language is not proving a barrier.
"My French is rubbish," he admits, "but I know a bit of Italian. It's not as much of a problem as in the past. With more English riders in the pro peloton, that's what everyone speaks."
But what about the weather? I gaze out of the window at the sudden downpour and ask if he minds getting out there and getting wet.
"It's my job - it's what I do. I've been all over the world cycling - Australia, the Middle East, Switzerland, Spain - so I can't complain really. Cycling in these places connects you with the environment, so you get to know more about the countries you visit, and I love that, no matter what the weather's like."
Having already ridden Romandie with Chris Froome, and set for the Dauphine, I pick the question that is hanging in the air - is Rowe in line for a place in Le Tour?
"That would be nice, it's what I'm working towards," he replies diplomatically. One thing for sure is that the team will need strong riders like Luke, and with Eisel, Siutsou and Kiryienka riding for Richie Porte in the Giro, his second Grand Tour start may not be too far in the future.
I ask him about last year's Vuelta, his GT debut. "We had a great race. Froome finished second, he was coming back from injury after his crashes and still trying to get down to race weight, but Alberto (Contador) was better."
As a final question I return to the Etape. With the success of the Tour de Yorkshire, does he see this event being the springboard for a Tour of Wales in the future?
"Of course, that would be fantastic - the pro's all loved the Tour de Yorkshire. The crowds, the roads, the organisation. The coverage it got from the media was amazing and that's the sort of thing that brings in the big name sponsors."
A Tour of Wales would be a great idea, but meanwhile the Etape Cymru gives mere mortals like me the chance to ride a stage of a race without having to travel abroad, in true weekend warrior fashion.
Luke Rowe is an ambassador for theWiggle Etape Cymru, which takes place on 13 September 2015. Now with three great distances, the event is billed as the Dragon Ride of the North. For more information and to register, visit www.humanrace.co.uk/cycling.
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