The Tour de France is coming, but are we really ready to host three stages of the world's biggest cycling race?
I have my doubts. Of course, I realise it's not the same as hosting a football World Cup, with all the drama of building new stadia. Thanks to the Romans we already have roads in Britain, so the infrastructure is in place. No, my worry is the fans.
We just don't see a lot of cycling up close on these islands, it's all a bit new to us. Will we know what to do? I can see a situation where Froome, Cavendish, Wiggo et al are met by hordes of gauche, scarf-waving noobs, greeting the peloton with Mexican waves and chucking flares onto the road amid beery chants of "the commissaire's a w***er". It could be embarrassing for everyone involved.
I thought I was alone in this fear - but luckily, one company is making a timely stand to educate the British cycling public. That company is Herfie, whose R&D department has revealed an innovation they call "Tour chalk". Consisting of a minimalist cardboard tube containing three sticks of premium-grade calcium carbonate, Tour chalk is a subtle prompt to any bewildered fan of Team Sky to ditch their vuvuzela and instead inscribe their passion on the roads of Yorkshire, just like they do over in that France.
The colours of the chalks are a masterstroke: green, red and yellow, representing the points, mountains and GC jerseys of the Tour. Whoever's responsible deserves a Cannes Lion for that touch alone, but it doesn't stop there. Alongside the three sticks of chalk, Herfie have included a small pamphlet of inspirational quotes from cycling legends such as Cipollini ("If you brake, you don't win") and Hinault ("I race to win, not to please people").
As such, this modest tube of chalk is effectively a crash course in cycling's rich culture, history and etiquette - and if you think of it that way, the asking price of £10 is something of a bargain.
In fact, thanks to Tour chalk I no longer fear the approach of summer. A coolbox of Stella, a few hours to kill at the roadside, and a box of stubby chalks - it promises to be a potent cocktail. In the land of Shakespeare, Keats and Dizzee Rascal, who's to say what inspired poetry will be unleashed on a fresh tarmac canvas. Chapeau, Herfie.
0 Comments